Squirrel Patrol

NOTE: We do actually love squirrels in this house. We feed them and worry about them when they look ill. No squirrels were harmed in the writing of this post, they just enjoy taunting me.

After much planning and debate, we finally have our new Sugar Maple (Acer Saccharum Fall Fiesta). It's very tall. I hope we have lots of shade next year!



So all is right with the world, right?

I feverishly planted many Spring bulbs in the new rock garden. I became a bulb geek, carefully measuring the depth and distance between each bulb with my measuring tape. It took me over an hour to lay out the bulbs just right. It was like assembling a mosaic. I was very smug and proud.



From John Scheepers I had ordered 50 Glowing Pink tulips, 25 Spanish bluebells (Hyacinthoides Hispanica Excelsior)and 25 species tulips (T. bakeri Lilac Wonder). BTW - the John Scheepers catalogue is addictive, its like plant crack. I stare at their lush tempting photos and crave more bulbs! I also planted pink allium (Allium unifolium) from Dutch Gardens underneath the new tree, and I still have to plant some white crocus bulbs that I got cheap at Big Lots.

So anyway, in my mind I see this glorious eruption of glowing color next spring, something out of Monet's gardens. I see a lush, colorful canvas in full bloom. Birds singing, sun shining, the hills are alive, etc. etc.

And then they came.
Like a Biblical plague.
Those destructive, devious little devils, with their deceitful little button eyes and fluffy little poof tails.

SQUIRRELS FROM HELL.


I've tried training the cats for squirrel patrol. They don't go outside, but they can look mean and menacing through the front window. They could tap the glass with extended claws and hiss viciously to defend our turf. You know, earn their keep for once but NOOOO. One morning I awoke to find a fat squirrel happily digging trenches and munching my bulbs. I started banging on the front window like a mad woman, shouting "Drop that bulb you &#$*&*>@# thief!!!!" The cats just looked at me lazily, like 'yeah she needs to take more meds, man'. Ingrates.

Then I tried to recruit Baby to be my little squirrel soldier, but she just thinks they're cute. At this point, she honestly believes they are little dogs and when she sees one she squeals in delight, points excitedly and barks repeatedly. I'm not kidding.

*sigh* It's an uphill, lonely battle.

We'll see what remains (of my bulbs AND my sanity) in the spring.